Beltway Basketball Bonanza-- Hearts will never be practical...

Happy Valentine's Day... a celebration of love and hopes and dreams that every so often ends in a less than awesome manner. A day where a line is drawn in the sand between couples and singles. A day where what ifs become never weres. As the Wizard told the Tin Man, "Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable." Over the next few weeks, plenty of hearts (and bubbles) will be broken as the line between finding an NCAA Tournament partner and being single in the NIT (or worse) will be drawn... with a few still hoping for that one big thing.


Georgetown (19-5, 9-4) bounced back from a tough overtime loss at Syracuse by gutting out another matinee victory over a Big East Bruiser. The 71-61 win over St. John's saw a nice buffet effort from Nate Lubick: 7 points, 8 rebounds, 5 assists and 4 blocks. The Hoyas owned the glass again...and shot 61% in the second half. The team's ability to generate half-court opportunities-- like they did in rallying to tie #2 Syracuse at the end of regulation-- bode well for March. Call their chocolate box more than half-full.


Alma Mater Update-- before I get into the latest pair of cardiac conclusions... let me set the record straight: bad weather and traffic prevented me from going to The Sign of the Whale for the Syracuse-Georgetown game last week. I am not a turncoat nor Benedict Arnold nor Brutus nor Nina from 24. But let me also say that the BLAZING HOT WINGS at the Greene Turtle are beyond napalmish. The key is knocking back two or three to get your mouth accustomed to the fury-- and loading up with bleu cheese dressing. That said, the Orange are fortunate to have held on in overtime against Georgetown and in regulation against Louisville (let the record show that Rick Pitino's white suits are a tonsorial turnover in and of themselves). And like true love, its tough to view this team objectively. Kris Joseph scores 29 against the Hoyas and only 7 against the Cardinals. The defense gives up way too many offensive boards. Halfcourt can be a nightmare. But they can turn you over like nobody else (4th in the nation in steals) and nobody runs the lanes better than this oh-so-deep Orange squad. So this chocolate box is all filled with really cool flavors (coconut, tangerine, cherry, walnut).

Favorite Couples I-- nobody lives in a vacuum. And our perception of life and love is built upon what we've grown up watching. The first couple I openly rooted for was Han Solo and Princess Leia-- their bickering during Star Wars injected spice into a dry script, and their fatalistic get-together in Empire provided one of the best exchanges EVER ("I love you"-"I know). Sadly, there had to be a Return of the Jedi where their relationship was reduced to she mopes, he mopes... and even the rehashing of the money line. Lesson learned? Sometimes it's cool to call it a day after the carbon freezing.


Maryland (14-10, 4-6) isn't in the class of North Carolina or Duke-- although coach Mark Turgeon's team can stay with the Tar Heels and Blue Devils for stretches, they just don't have the talent or depth to go toe to toe for 40 minutes. And that talent and depth goes from half full to half empty with guard Pe'Shon Howard's torn ACL. The Terrapin point guard wasn't a stats dynamo but was essential to the team's ACC success-- he logged 30 minutes or more in all but one of the team's conference games. Howard's loss means more minutes for Nick Faust and Mychal Parker-- and the duo combined for almost half of the Terps' points in the 73-55 loss at Duke. Unfortunately three-point shooting (1-14) and rebounding issues (outboarded 48-33 by the Blue Devils) reared their ugly heads as well. Now with six games remaining the Terps have just two matchups against teams with losing ACC records: Boston College and Georgia Tech are a combined 5-16 in league play. Other than that? Trips to #5 North Carolina and #22 Virginia plus home games against the Cavaliers and surprising Miami. Chocolate Box Status-- loaded with flavors you're not digging, but you'll eat them anyway.


Cruising the Commonwealth-- Yes, Virginia... there is a second half. The Cavaliers led North Carolina by 3-- IN CHAPEL HILL-- before the Tar Heels went on a 22-5 run that spelled the Cavaliers' 64 loss in 70 tries at UNC. Mike Scott scored 18 points... but the rest of the team shot 11 of 38. Revenge may be a dish served early and often over the next few weeks... as UVa plays three teams they've already lost to this winter-- UNC, Florida State and Virginia Tech. Hopefully the Cavs and Hokies will each score more than 47 points in the rematch. Virginia Tech's chocolate box was accidentally dropped in the early ACC season (with 5 losses by 5 points or less)...and then stepped on with double digit losses to Duke and Miami. Three games against ranked opponents in the next two weeks could revive a run to the NIT (at 14-11, it's time to be honest Hokie fans) or bury this bunch. When does spring football start?


Favorite Couples II-- "Dallas" was a family saga filled with conflict between old cattle and new oil as well as good brother Bobby against evil brother JR. One casualty of the show was the marriage of Bobby and Pam... a couple that if you watched the show you enjoyed their affection for one another amidst a landscape of dysfunctional pairings- from JR and Sue Ellen to Mitch and Lucy. The whole original premise of the show was how a Ewing married a Barnes and there was no way they'd last. Even after scheming from seemingly every character over four plus seasons tore them apart... you couldn't help but root for the duo. Mark Graison? Jenna Wade? We recognized the real deal and it was Bobby and Pam. They finally got back together much to our delight. Until Katherine Wentworth ran Bobby over with her car (yes, in my mind Dallas ended that day. NO DREAM SEASON). Lesson learned-- if you're not in a car, get off the damn driveway!


George Mason (21-6, 13-2)-- get ready for two games over two weeks (with maybe a third in the CAA Tournament) with VCU that should be incredible. While the case could be made that they're playing for second place (neither has been able to defeat Drexel this season)... the late season home and home will feature two solid teams in the at-large discussion with outstanding forwards: Ryan Pearson (18ppg, 9rpg, 37% from 3) has placed the Patriots on his back on more than one occasion while Bradford Burgess after a midseason slump (6 of 7 games scoring in single digits) appears to have picked up steam (46 points and 11 of 20 from three point range over the last two games). Get to the Patriot Center early on Valentine's Day- one can only wonder what sort of love songs Doc Nix and the Green Machine will be belting out. Chocolate Box- filled with awesome candies you don't want to share.


George Washington (9-16, 4-7) -- the Colonials ended a five game slide by beating Richmond 69-67... as Dwayne Smith has come alive this month (three straight games in double figures after scoring in double figures three times in GW's first 22 games of the season). That's nice relief for Tony Taylor; being a point guard who's often the #1 option means you get double teamed, hacked and downright mugged with numbing regularity. The Colonials have a one and a half game lead for 12th place in the Atlantic Ten-- and of their five remaining regular season games have just one matchup against a school currently with a losing league record (Charlotte- a team they beat by 8 in Foggy Bottom last month). Chocolate Box???? A different kind of bubble-- you open this one and wind up with celery and carrots-- plus raisins (Nature's Candy?!?).


Maryland Womens' Window-- the Terps are a very good team. They rallied against a tough Georgia Tech squad in Atlanta to complete a season sweep of the Yellowjackets. They blasted a subpar Clemson team on the road (Clemson on the road is never easy; just getting there is a logistical nightmare). But Sunday the Terrapins turned the ball over 21 times against #6 Miami- and missed 10 free throws in a 76-74 loss to the Hurricanes. Maryland remains #8 in the newest polls... and has three tough games ahead with a trip to Virginia plus home tilts against Duke and North Carolina. The margin between very good and great is minor... the margin between great and phenomenally incredible is even smaller. This team is close. Two keys down the stretch will be the play of Laurin Mincy and Anjale Barrett.


Favorite Couples III-- Sam and Diane. Who didn't like "Cheers"? I gravitated towards the show during its first season when Carla convinced a drunk Diane that Sam fathered one of her kids. I was hooked when Diane told Sam she'd never believe anything he said and Sam responded "then I think I'm falling in love with you". I recognized the chemistry the two had-- despite being so wrong for one another they were so right. Sam telling Diane "I think you're neat"-- when prompted why he liked her. Their combustible relationship leading to despair in season three (Sam back on the bottle, Diane in an assylum). More than one almost reconciliation... and their near-marriage followed by Sam saying "Have a Good Life". Lesson Learned-- do not pick up recently dumped English Lit Teaching Assistants in Boston bars. Don't even offer them "employment".

American (16-9, 7-3) saw its midseason momentum take a break with a 59-52 loss at Holy Cross; shooting 32% while being outrebounded by ten dooming the Eagles. While Charles Hinkle is able to score even when not shooting well... Troy Brewer has had troubles being a solid second option lately-- take away the game against Lehigh and the senior is on a 7 for 28 shooting slump in his last four games. AU closes the regular season with games against Navy and Army before battling Patriot League leading Bucknell; the Eagles' regular season finale against Lafayette could be for second place and home court for two rounds in the conference tournament. Chocolate Box-- a mixed bag. Be wary of what you choose-- and no "taking one bite but then placing back in the box!"


Howard (7-19, 4-9) fell at home Monday night to Bethune-Cookman 73-67... before the defeat the Bison took three of their previous four games. Two of their three remaining regular season games are against the MEAC's upper echelon, so another double digit conference loss season appears likely. One wonders about the future-- as senior Greg Andrews is the only player averaging more than 10 points a game on this roster. Hopefully Kevin Nickelberry's second true recruiting class will pay dividends. Chocolate Box--return to sender.


Danny Departs-- breaking up is definitely hard to do. Maryland football loses its face-- as junior Danny O'Brien transfers after a difficult 2011 season. The 2010 ACC Rookie of the Year lost his starting job last fall-- and then broke his upper arm against Notre Dame. When did a future so bright suddenly have an expiration date? I look at the West Virginia game-- he threw a pick-six and a fourth quarter INT in the red zone. For the first time since he came to College Park, Danny could look at a game and say "I LOST THIS ONE". Confidence is a tricky thing for anyone of any age, let alone a college student trying to succeed in a new offensive system (after learning the old one for basically two and a half years). The nightmare 2-10 season saw injury added to insult when he broke his arm. I wish the classy kid well-- and know he'll be successful down the road in whatever he decides to do.


Favorite Couples IV-- "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" features Jim Carrey and Kate Winslet playing doomed couple Joel and Clementine. They break up badly (to paraphrase Bryan Brown from "Cocktail": everything ends badly... otherwise it wouldn't end) and she decides to erase her memories of the affair. He finds out and wants to do the same... but halfway through the process realizes that amidst all the madness and hurt there are actually really good memories he wants to hang onto. He tucks away one. They meet again-- and then learn they each erased the other. Do they start again on a similar road that probably ends the way the previous one did? She tells him she'll get bored of him and feel trapped while he'll find things he doesn't like about here. He replies "Okay". Lesson Learned-- I forget... but it has to be something important.

Redskins Rehash-- Are they on the clock yet?

Okay-- I've tried to avoid the obvious. Each week I try to dissect the Redskins' game with snarky comments and witty repartee... but we all recognize the obvious. This team is bad. This team won't be a contender or even a pretender this year. And there's a chance that next year might not be much better. Things are that bad. I didn't think that 5-11 ("not too good"--Steve Spurrier, before faxed resignation-2003) was a possibility... now 3-13 is mentioned with all seriousness after a 3-1 start.


So the Skins lost 20-9 in Miami. To a very bad team that was winless two weeks ago and will probably finish last in the AFC East (although Buffalo could fashion a classic second half collapse-- "nobody circles the wagons to finish under .500 like the Buffalo Bills!"). This was another game that was there for the taking and wasn't taken.



Turnoverasaurus Rex... still better than Beck-- Mr. Grossman threw two interceptions... including one on the supposed go-ahead drive in the fourth quarter. This after connecting on 7 of his first 9 passes in the first half. But at least he's throwing the ball more than ten yards downfield. John Beck is also the name of the actor who played "Mark Graison" on Dallas-- he was Pam's love interest after her divorce with Bobby-- and although you didn't mind the guy, you knew he just wasn't Bobby. I don't mind this John Beck, but I just know he's not an NFL quarterback.


Torain goes off the rails-- somehow the Dolphin defense knew how to stymie Ryan Torain: 10 carries for 20 yards... and a first half sequence from the 5 that lost three yards over five plays. Let the record show he did have a touchdown wiped out by a holding call-- but Roy Helu was introduced as an option a little too late.

Backup Plan? Ha!-- Don't be so quick to roast Mike Shanahan, because the fruits we are tasting were planted during the Vinny Cerrato era. With the recent injuries we learn further about the complete lack of depth developed over the last decade. A good organization's backups are almost good enough to be starters-- a bad organization's backups are almost bad enough to be out of the league.

Hankering for the IR-- rookie Leonard Hankerson tallied 8 catches for 106 yards in what appeared to be his breakout game. Unfortunately the game during which he went off on a tear also was the one where he tore the labrum in his right hip. So the Skins go to plan H or I at wideout.

Feeling Fredtastic... dropping-- okay, so everybody's favorite tight end dropped a pass in the numbers. Still, Mr. Davis recorded 3 catches for 28 yards-- and his prorated numbers are 76 grabs for 1043 yards. But he hasn't found the endzone in some time (second three game stretch without a touchdown); on a team desperately needing a go-to receiver in the red zone... he's not it.

Red-faced-- three trips into the red zone with no touchdowns to show for it. What's worse... the 0 for 3 or the fact that they got inside Miami's 20 just three times (one aided by a interception return)?

Grading the D on a curve--the Skins allowed just 20 points... but allowed 8 of 14 third down conversions. Jim Haslett's unit did provide a pair of takeaways that led to points... and Ryan Kerrigan continued his promising rooking campaign with a pair of sacks. But the leading tacklers were safeties Reed Doughty and Laron Landry: any time your DBs are making a lot of stops-- it's not necessarily a good thing.

Dissecting the division-- Despite the Giants loss at San Francisco, New York remains atop the NFC East as the # 3 seed. Dallas is alone in second place and their 4-2 conference record puts them ahead of Atlanta for 7th place in the NFC. Philadelphia stays in third place of the division but drops to #12 in the conference with their underwhelming loss to Arizona. And the Redskins remain in last place... now 13th place in the conference. Much closer to last place than the last playoff spot in the NFC.

All signs point North... with a West Surge--- both North Divisions continue their dominance-- the NFC is 23-13 while the AFC is 22-15 after ten weeks. Major props to the much-maligned NFC West-- going 4-0 to improve to a pedestrian 16-20. Not ideal, but decidedly better than the AFC South's 15-23.

How I am Still on the Hook to Meet the Mother... or MacGuffin.

I don't watch a lot of TV these days. Let me qualify that-- I don't watch a lot of scripted programs nowadays. NFL and NCAA regular and postseason make me rearrange gall-bladder operations... and the NBA and MLB playoffs catch my eye until the teams I love and teams I hate are bounced. But as far as network TV, first-run programming? I'm the Nielsen nightmare.

But let the record show that when I find a program-- I'm with it usually to the bitter end. And in TV, most ends are bitter. Remember how Cheers limped through its last season to an underwhelming final episode? Couldn't leave the party early. Recall how Dallas lost its way after the killing and then dreamily resurrecting Bobby? Locked in. Or how 90210-- never Shakespeare or high drama-- was completely unwatchable for the last season and a half? Hanging out at the Peach Pit. Or how much Happy Days and The Love Boat sucked in their final seasons? On the hook for every last recycled plot-- from Ted McGinley to... Ted McGinley.

Two of my shows went off the air last spring-- one to plenty of fanfare (LOST) and the other to "we've already done everything possible in sixteen different combinations-- plus every body's been killed" (24). That left me with The Office-- which will be on Threat Level Midnight with Steve Carrell (ultimate sit-com glue guy) departing-- and How I Met Your Mother.

HIMYM's premise is Bob Saget's voiceover (no stories about Uncle Jesse playing bongos for the Beach Boys or Dave Coulier hooking up with Alanis Morrissette, unfortunately) leading his kids through the journey about how he met their mother. And it's been a long and winding road. Through meeting the girl of his dreams (I'm still on the hook for Cobie Smulders) to getting engaged (Sarah Chalke never made sense) to the latest season involving a scary captain, an imploding building, and guest spots from Ben Vereen and John Lithgow as baby-daddys turned responsible men.

The season finale leads us to think that we'll meet the mother... but it never happens. Instead we're treated to Barney (played by perfection by Neil Patrick Harris) continuing his maturing from rake to nice, sweet, sensitive guy. Remember when Steve Sanders would go "sensitive" in "very special" 90210 episodes-- from "LETS CHUG!" to "Brandon, why do all the girls like you instead of me?"-- that's the amazing growth we're seeing.

This is a big moment because although the character Ted Mosby (played by Josh Radnor) is technically the lead, Barney has long been the meal ticket for laughs-- both cheap and inspired. Over the series run, HIMYM has been a TV version of a well-drilled basketball team. Ted is the point man... running the offense through each week's premise. Marshall is the big man in the low post who provides a moral center more often than not. Barney is the small forward wildcard who can generate laughs from the inside or outside. And the girls (Robin and Lilly) screen and rebound while the guys run around like fools. I have a feeling next season will be all about Barney and his road of redemption from rake to groom. Which means more laughs, and no mother. Like that damn sled at the end of Citizen Kane, the "mother" is merely a MacGuffin-- look it up. Can't wait for September.