Redskins Rehash-- so you're telling me there's a chance?

So much for six weeks of slumber before the season ends... can you believe that FOX had the Skins listed as "in the hunt" this past Sunday? And a 23-17 victory over Seattle puts the team in position to get into position for the 2005/2007 late season playoff runs we've grown to know and love. What's helpful is that despite a 4-7 mark the team is 4-5 against the NFC-- so there's a chance to hold tiebreakers at 7-5 in the conference and 9-7 overall. As difficult as it sounds... a win over the consistently uneven NY Jets would place this team within striking distance of being within striking distance. So you're telling me there's still a chance? Drink up the burgundy and gold kool aid.


Turnoverasaurus Rex-- two interceptions? That was it? No pick sixes? No fumbles lost or safeties allowed? I'm so there it's not even fair. Grossman isn't the longterm answer for a playoff team-- that is obvious. But he's gives this team a chance to win more than any other QB on the roster. Like a restaurant makes room for spoons that get thrown in the trash in their budget-- the INTs are merely an accounting move. Except when they really cost you.

Channeling Jack Bauer-- 24 remains one of my favorite shows... taking the proud mantle from Seinfeld, The Simpsons, Dallas, Cheers and Happy Days. Last week Rex Grossman said that their goal was to match the 24 points scored against Dallas each and every week. If that were the case-- Skins scoring 24 points in every game-- they'd be 9-2. Granted, this is with opposing offenses putting the game plan in the freezer after jumping out to seemingly insurmountable 19-3 leads.

Finishing with a Flourish-- for an team that has had problems producing points this fall... it was nice to see the Skins come up huge in the fourth quarter. Trailing 10-7... they outgained the Seahawks 151 to 61 yards and put 16 points on the board. That outburst was more than 4 complete games since the bye week.


Holy Helu!-- one month after setting a Redskins record with 14 catches against San Francisco, rookie Roy Helu rumbled for 108 yard and a touchdown. He also led the team in receiving with 7 catches for 54 yards. Will he remain the primary producer from here on out or simply fall back into the runningback rotation like Ryan Torain?



Feeling Fredtastic-- Mr. Davis found the endzone for the first time since week two. His four catches for 58 yards keeps him on pace for 75+ catches and 1000+ yards... and he began with a bang-- notching 3 grabs for 53 yards and a score on the team's opening drive. But on that drive an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty while not costing the Skins certainly slowed them down... and after that possession #83 notched just one 5 yard reception.

Flags Flying-- talk about airing dirty laundry. The Skins were whistled for 10 penalties and 115 yards... as the Seahawks were flagged 9 times for 91 yards... leading to a day that was rather disjointed.

Safety in lack of numbers-- it's been nice to see Laron Landry and Reed Doughty make big plays and tally impressive tackle totals... but any coach will tell you they don't like it when their safeties are making a lot of stops. Not so the case against Seattle--linebacker Perry Riley led the way with 6 tackles and 8 assists while London Fletcher added 4 solo stops and 11 total tackles. One big reason Seattle went 6 of 16 on third down and saw 5 of 8 second half drives go three and out or end in a turnover.


Third and lost-- 3 of 10 when trying to move the chains isn't a way to take control of a game... and at 35.1% on the season the team ranks 22nd in the NFL. Now let the record show that the Skins second and third touchdowns of the day came on third down... so maybe there's progress.

Dissecting the Division-- Dallas takes over sole possession of first place (#4 NFC) after a Thanksgiving win over Miami... the New York Giants drop to second (#8 NFC) following their Monday Night loss to New Orleans... Philadelphia's third in the division and ninth in the conference after losing to New England... followed by the Skins in fourth place/tenth place thanks to their week six loss to Philly. They need to leapfrog the Eagles (with Vince Young at QB a definite possibility) and the Giants (slumping with 3 straight losses)... plus two of the following: Detroit (a definite possibility with the Suh suspension)... Atlanta (not likely with an easy December for the Falcons) and Chicago (with Bobby Douglass now a QB option--anything is possible).

Losing out in the Luck Lotto-- the win over Seattle does provide a major setback in the race to get a franchise quarterback... as the Skins would be drafting anywhere from 7th to 14th. Indianapolis remains the leader/loser in with five games remaining-- and a two loss advantage. St. Louis (2-9) has Sam Bradford and Minnesota (2-9) has Christian Ponder...(recent first rounders at quarterback)..so conventional wisdom says they pass on Andrew Barkley and Landry Jones (isn't that the kid from "Friday Night Lights" who hooked up with Tyra and then killed her stalker?). How far will those two fall? And does Indy once locking up the number one pick (it could happen as early as week 14) reverse it's previous post-clinching behavior and try not to "not to win"...?

The Clock Finally Stops.

The curtain has to come down on all dynasties at some point. Greatness is born... nurtured and then recognized. After ups and downs and reaching the pinnacle-- most reigning champs eventually begin their decline until finally being phased out. This May will represent the passing of the proverbial torch... as 24 calls it a day (actually-- eight days and two hours... let's not forget the two hour Redemption movie).

I remember reading the Washington Post Style Section in the fall of 2001 and discovering this new show with Kiefer Sutherland that would try to be in "real time"... I'm always intrigued when a movie, show or book plays with form-- that's why Memento and The Cloud Atlas continue to attract me years after watching and reading them. 24 seemed like a different deal. I had no idea exactly how different it would be.

1. Constant Threat to the USA-- from a presidential candidate's assassination attempt to disrupting the Middle East peace process... nothing was safe over the last eight-plus years. Eventually as a viewer you get burned out-- it becomes a "what's left?" kind of thing-- but the show had a certain internal tension you couldn't find anywhere else.

2. People can't be trusted-- there are moles everywhere. At CTU. FBI. Inside the White House. Inside your own family. In today's world of trust no one... the theory of nobody is as they seem rings true.

3. The Violence-- Season one was kind of tame... yes there was stabbing and shooting but nothing to prepare us for Jack using a hacksaw on a dead witness or the bad guys using a Deli Slicer as torture. Just a few episodes ago Jack gutted a Russian who had swallowed a cellphone chip... hey he unearthed a computer chip from a criminal in year two.

4. Imperfect people-- Jack Bauer for all of his heroic deeds is trying to patch up a broken marriage... with no control over his daughter. David Palmer despite being a straight arrow can't escape the fact he's married to a conniving Lady Macbeth wannabe. Chloe's great at saving Jack's hide but has no personality whatsoever. Tony drinks beer out of a Cubs mug. 24 gave us so many flawed heroes- making their triumphs all the more enjoyable.

5. Authority figures suck-- from CTU middle managers to White House incompetents, it's tough to have confidence. George Mason, Ryan Chappelle, Bubba from Forrest Gump, Chad Lowe, several VPs... many people out there think their boss has no clue what they're doing. Here's documented proof.

6. Twists and turns are the norm instead of the exception-- brides kill their fiancees on their Wedding Day. Amnesia and pregnancies are all in a days work. What was thought to be the location for the bombs is now just the push-off point. Jack's friend is now his enemy. The mole in CTU has really been working on a CTU project all along and is really good. You think Lost had your head spinning? Try eight days in our seat.

7. Split-screens-- for the realtime concept to work, there always needed to be multiple goings-on (I mean, do we want to see characters drive or wait in line?). The split-screen coming out of breaks acted as a refresher course--resetting the stage and letting you know where each storyline was going.

8. Jack is one worn out pin-cushion-- he's been shot multiple times, stabbed multiple times, drugged, been addicted to heroin, experienced heart attacks, died twice literally Shanghaied and had his library card revoked-- next to Kelly Taylor on 90210 no TV character's had a rougher run and still survived.

9. Bad decisions everywhere-- I could pinpoint Kim Bauer... and we know going to a furniture store at midnight to meet strangers is the beginning of a Lifetime Movie ("He Was Bad News")... but poor choices runs rampant on the program. Which ties into characters being imperfect-- instead of the chance of somebody doing the right thing, in the 24 world somebody usually tries to do the right thing when in actuality it's the worst possible thing.

10. Better to have loved and lost-- pity the woman who involves herself with Jack Bauer. His wife is killed by his former mistress (don't worry, he kills the ex-mistress in season three). The drug lord's girlfriend he has a fling with is killed (after setting a TV record for pouty lips per episode). Another girlfriend is kidnapped by the Chinese and drugged into oblivion. And yet another paramour is killed immediately after having sex with Jack. Tell me how Kate Warner (season 2) survived-please.

11. A Very Volatile Oval Office-- at the beginning of season one, Senator David Palmer is running for President...wins and is in charge during seasons two and three (despite the Cabinet voting him out in season two briefly). The season four President becomes incapacitated in a plane crash which elevates Charles Logan. Logan has to resign in season five. The new President either doesn't run or loses to Wayne Palmer (try not to laugh) who's in charge during season six before a bomb goes off at his podium. The Powers Boothe-played VP takes over yet loses to Allison Taylor before season seven. She tells Jack she's going to resign at the end of season eight. All tolled-- eight (!) chief executives over roughly fourteen years. Three invokings of the 25th Amendment (2 successful) and two non-medical resignations. One ex-President assassinated and other dead by suicide. Talk about your unstable republics.

(In real life the most presidents over a 14 year period was 7... Van Buren- Harrison- Tyler- Polk- Taylor- Fillmore- Pierce from 1840-54)

12. Disposable characters-- and you thought the Oval Office had a hot seat? Characters on 24 should have all been fitted with red shirts from Star Trek. I've seen characters introduced only to have them killed later that very hour. Screen time is fleeting on 24.

13. Can you imagine the 24 standing for days instead of hours?-- that was almost the case. FOX thought about bringing 24 back for season two with a twist-- each episode instead of covering one hour would tackle one day (pretty much what the first season of Lost did). One twist I was for... having Kim Bauer work undercover for CTU at a UCLA sorority house-- and the only way for her to find the evidence she's looking for would be to engage the other girls in a pillow fight that would last several episodes. Alas, neither came to pass.

14. Idolized-- 24 had modest ratings its first few years but got a major boost when it was moved to Monday nights and followed American Idol... for those TV snobs who scorn "reality TV" (and I'm one of them), it was a tough pill to swallow knowing that a singing contest was propping up viewership numbers of my favorite show.


15. The Haters-- from the beginning of the series there were as many people complaining about the various inaccuracies... from driving around rush hour LA to Jack having every President's number on his phone to Kim and the Mountain Lion. My response-- it's fantasy. And I'd rather be fed a diet of shooting, shouting and implausible plot points than be fed Grey's Anatomy or Two and a Half Men. Haters-- enjoy what you enjoy... and let me dine on 24.

16. Some Scenes May be Unsuitable for Some Viewers-- 24 was a boon to "Viewer Discretion": hacksawed heads, two guttings (one for a computer chip the other for a cellphone memory card), ear-biting, shock-therapy, Freddie Prinze Jr's "acting"... the show was not for the faint of heart or stomach.

17. The Community-- during season two there were about 5 to 7 of us at work who watched the show... and we would tape it for each other on a weekly basis. The "did you see it yet" was a highlight of the week-- and as a group we all watched more than a few seasons together. We'd get together for the season premieres and finales- cursing Chappelle, rooting for Tony, falling in love with Michelle, wondering why Audrey's husband calls her "Ordrey". The friends I shared the show with added heavily to my enjoyment of 24.

18. Favorite Season-- has to be #2. Jack's life is a bunch of loose threads... he's inactive from CTU, has no relationship with his daughter and owns a Grizzly Adams beard. The impossible situation (nuke going off in USA) gives him a chance at redemption... and he gets it done. The tried and true plot twists are fairly new and there aren't that many core characters who have gotten killed off yet (RIP George Mason). Although I enjoyed the first season, #2 won me lock, stock and barrel.

19. Least Enjoyable Season-- #6 without a doubt. Way to come off winning an Emmy, kids. What could have been a season of possibilities turned into the same old tricks... with CTU 90210 (Ricky Schroeder triangle)... an After School Specialesque alcoholic (Miles chugging by the dumpster)... and Jack's evil as all get out dad. Season #6 was so bad the writer's strike felt like a blessing.

20. For those scoring at home-- I go Season #2, #4 (Mia Kirshner as Mandy makes this possible), #1 (the original template), #5 (the Emmy-winning season), #8 (if this were another show I would have stopped watching), #3 (the first proof that this could be a bad show if handled wrongly) and #6.

21. Dave's dynasties-- So for those scoring at home, my #1 shows have been: Happy Days (1975-80): nothing cooler until Fonzie jumped the Shark, Richie started balding and Potsie wouldn't stop singing. Dallas (1980-85): Who Shot JR stole my imagination-- at least until they killed Bobby (it wasn't all a dream). Cheers (1985-89): I still root for Sam and Diane to get together, and still root for Kirstie Alley to disappear. Simpsons (1989-92): First great era gave me Troy McClure adn Lionel Hutz. Seinfeld (1992-98): Not that there's anything wrong with that. Simpsons (1998-2001) I still cry laughing everytime I see Frank Grimes. Yvan Eht Nioj! 24: (2001-06): Even Jack's torture can't make me look past season 6. The Office (2006-present): wins over How I Met Your Mother because I haven't met the mother yet.

22. Kiefer makeover-- the biggest winner of the show has been its lead actor... keeping the tabloid-magnet gainfully employed and giving him an iconic character-- I mean in '01 he was the guy from Young Guns and the Lost Boys. Well played, Mr. Sutherland.

23. Movie-- I don't know how they're going to transform the excitement and the format into a theatrical film... and I don't know what they can do with Jack's character after everything that has happened in 8-plus seasons nonstop ticking. Do I even have the strength to get excited about more Jack Bauer adventures? Still, I'll go watch-- I mean it can't be worse than Sex and the City, can it?

24. That damn clock and the beeping... much like the instrumental transition on Law & Order, the commercial break countdown (or silent countdown for deaths of major characters) gave viewers a little zinger into the break or into a week wondering what's coming next... and now there is no next. Except in the theaters.

Wizards hit the lotto- and somebody has to lose.

Guess who the biggest loser is with the Wizards hitting the Lottery? I say the Capitals. They go from being the best-run franchise in the region last summer to the NHL's usual place in most markets. Instead of VinnyZorn, the Redskins are being run by the son of George Allen and a two-time Super Bowl winning coach. Instead of "Natinals" and "flying sausage sandwiches" the Nats are actually playing good baseball with a pitching phenom in Stephen Strasberg warming up in Triple A. And instead of constant Gilbert-talk, Wizards fans will avidly await the arrival of a #1 draft pick-- who unless he turns into Kwame Brown/LaRue Martin will mean the start of the next era.

The Caps had a window of opportunity to become a more prominent player in DC (and they still are)... armed with home ice in the Eastern Conference playoffs they should still be playing and gathering headlines. Instead, it's wait for the draft and toughen up for next spring (we know Bruce Boudreau's bunch can win the fall and winter). When they come back this Labor Day, there will be a completely different landscape than last September.

The Wizards have the task of not messing up this windfall; most have them choosing between Ohio State's Evan Turner or Kentucky's John Wall. In today's guards game, you almost can't pass up a point-man like Wall... although Turner's one heck of a building block. And he hasn't been coached by John Calipari.

Speaking of the current Kentucky coach, what is with the rumor mill that has him headed to Chicago as a package deal with LeBron James? Unfortunately most NBA brain trusts think that the ideal pro coach is one who either excels in a shorter-season sample with a completely different method for acquiring talent or somebody who sounds good on TV (Doug Collins/Mike Fratello corollary).

I will admit it-- TV sucks this year. We say goodbye to 24, Lost, and Law & Order-- three of my favorite shows. And they're not going out gracefully. 24 has given us a full season of moles, women making bad life decisions and Freddie Prinze Jr. Lost has made me yearn for the streamlined straight-ahead feel of 24. And L&O's plug gets pulled without even a farewell episode-- I mean who wouldn't watch Jack McCoy's retirement party? The only other shows on network TV I'm readily into have been sagging as well. How I Met Your Mother forced a Barney-Robin duo that was tough to stomach... and then broke the pair up as soon as I bought the two of them together. The highlight was the faux movie "The Wedding Bride" (please Youtube the trailer)... funnier than the actual TV show it appears in. Meanwhile, The Office has given us a baby... and in Andy's pursuit of Erin a rehash of Jim's courting of Pam. Thanks for getting me back into reading, idiot-box.

Beltway Basketball Bonanza-- Eight is enough for 24...

With no extended beltway schools in action (thank you Virginia Tech for playing honorably in the NIT), all of my college hoop focus turned towards my alma mater. Unfortunately the Sweet Sixteen left a sour taste-- and a 63-59 loss to Butler.

What happened? Eighteen turnovers. Butler gave SU fits offensively all evening-- and scored 23 points off Orange miscues. Syracuse outshot-- and outrebounded the Bulldogs while denying Butler effectively from three point range... but kept on making mistakes. There were those who claimed the officials were poor-- calling a game that went against the Orange's physical mindset and played towards Butler's style of basketball. Problem was, SU didn't play well enough to win. And although they came close (up 54-50 with the ball and 4 minutes left)... Butler just played better. Some times it just happens that way. March can be one mean mistress sometimes.

The loss ended what became one of the more pleasantly surprising seasons I've seen... one that I'll easily rank in the top four SUrprising seasons since I've started following the Orange. In no particular order--

1--1986-87... fresh off a second round NCAA loss in the Carrier Dome to David Robinson and Navy, the Orangemen lose superstar guard Pearl Washington to the NBA. Rebuilding year? Hardly. Sherman Douglas steps up, Derrick Coleman is as good as advertised, Rony Seikaly looks interested- and the senior tandem of Greg Monroe and Howard Triche provide leadership that guides a young nucleus to the national title game.

2--1991-92... burdened with NCAA investigations plus the departure of Billy Owens and Leron Ellis to the NBA, time to rebuild. I mean-- you're starting Mike Hopkins... not so fast sir--Lawrence Moten comes in and produces from day one-- Dave Johnson finally adjusts to his new name and number (the swingman wore #23 and was called David before switching to #4 and Dave)... and SU is hot early (18-3) before fading...but then bounces back to win the Big East Tournament.

3-- 1995-96... Lawrence Moten and Luke Jackson graduated... while Michael Lloyd was deemed ineligible. Could hometown hero Lazarus Sims run the point? All the way to the National title game.

4-- this winter... three early departures (Jonny Flynn, Eric Devendorf and Paul Harris) would surely cripple what was a team that caught fire in the Big East Tournament. But the scrappy leftovers rallied together and the infusion of Wes Johnson to the lineup turned a pretender into a contender-- one that claimed a #1 ranking and won the Big East regular season title outright for the first time since 1991.

Does this lessen the sting of coming up two steps shy of a Final Four? I'll leave that up to my Orange brethren (and sistren). I just hope they recognize what an incredible ride this was.

Alma Mater Update-- despite the result, a great time had by all at the Sign of the Whale to wrap up our second season of basketball watching (as fate would have it I never witnessed an NCAA win at the Rhino Pumphouse in Georgetown--and I watched games there from 2005 to 2008). The MVP goes to my buddy's girlfriend Meredith who held a bowl of chicken wings for us to eat while standing up. No sauce spillage anywhere (although there was a piece of celery dropped). To further accentuate the fact that the season is over, the McDonald's on M Street stopped selling Shamrock Shakes. Minty goodness and title hopes hibernate again.


Commonwealth Common Sense-- Virginia Tech signed coach Seth Greenberg to an extension- the Baron of Blacksburg well deserving of his reward... as he's made the Hokies relevant in the ACC... a tough out instead of a league laughingstock. While Virginia is under its second rebuilding phase in the last decade-- the Hokies have a firm foundation that will result in NCAA trips in the future.


Clock winding down-- Fox has cancelled 24... although I think Jack Bauer went into Fox execs and told them under no uncertain terms he would not be back for another season. Eight seasons of shooting, shouting, ridiculous plot points and mountain lions...the show changed the landscape of TV in its own way. With eight seasons in the books, I guess we could play it out like an elite eight...:

Season #1 vs Season #8-- Mandy blows up a plane, Nina kills Teri and Palmer shuns Sherry against Freddie Prinze Jr? No contest. Season 1 advances.

Season #2 vs Season #7-- Jack's road to redemption begins by using a hacksaw... although last year was compelling (like the DC switch), CTU's dual doofus middle managers George Mason and Ryan Chappelle put this one over the top.

Season #3 vs Season #6-- clearly the two worst years get bracketed together. Kim's boyfriend has his arm chopped off while Jack's father kills his brother. Even with Ricky Schroeder and CTU 90210, the Bauer family foibles takes the cake.

Season #4 vs Season #5-- toughest matchup... one had the key quote "earlier today Jack and Audrey were planning their life together-- now he's killed her husband and probably will have to torture her brother", while the other has Jack telling some punk "the only reason you're still conscious is I don't feel like carrying you". Knock me out, Kiefer.

Semis-- #5 won an Emmy for the show and Kiefer... plus had him on a slow boat to China at the end. #1 set up everything... including bad life decisions by Kim (lets go to a furniture store at midnight!). #2 takes a hacksaw to #6 in the most unmerciful way.

Finals-- #2 wins over #5 in a close call; Jack literally died in this one and stuck his hand in a corpse to boot; plus Sarah Wynter as Kate Warner trumps Kim Raver as Audrey.

24 Characters Hall of Fame...

24 premieres Sunday night on Fox. Yes, prepare yourself for more shouting, shooting and implausible plotlines...as a primer, my 24 most memorable characters. Now let's throw some caveats out there-- these are peripheral characters you may have forgotten... as opposed to primary protagonists (Jack, Tony, Michelle, President Palmer), antagonists (the Drazens, Nina, President Logan) or irritants (Kim). These are people in the 24 universe who sneak onto the scene-- steal it-- and then are either killed or forgotten thanks to the breakneck pace of the program.



24. Mandy-- she had sex with a guy in an airplane she then blew up in season one... before giving the President a biological weapon-laced handshake in season two. Season four saw her kidnap Tony and kill a 90210 reject (more on that phenomena later). Played to perfection by Mia Kirshner, you wished she'd come back for an extended run-- as a nemesis or partner for Jack.




23. Diego-- remember Kim's wavy-gravy boyfriend from season two? The goatee... the earring... and his ridiculously awesome karate kid-like takedown of Gary the abusive father Kim was nannying for... although after police car accident that Kim engineered, Kung Fu took a backseat as Diego's lower leg was amputated.

22. Willie from Sangala-- Kim's rap sheet also includes a boyfriend with a lost hand (Chase-season three) and a dead friend (season one). How black-cattish is Jack's daughter? In the two-hour movie, 24 Redemption-- she's not in the episode at all but helps cause the death of a character. You see, when Jack was in India he purchased a scarf/shawl to give to Kim. Realizing he'd never return to the US, Jack gave the shawl/scarf to one of the adolescent refugee orphans from his school, Willie. Wouldn't you know Willie would get the garment stuck. Wouldn't you know he'd step on a mine while trying to get it. Wouldn't you know Jack's friend Carl Benton would take Willie's place and sacrifice his life. Thanks, Kim--this one is definitely your fault.

21. Olivia-- setting a new standard for daughters and presidential family members who make bad decisions, season seven's First Daughter leaked administration information to the press... got the Chief of Staff to resign... taped herself having sex in order to blackmail a reporter... and then hired a hit-man-- winding up in prison. You go, girl.

20. Syed Ali-- season two's "first arc villain" (YES, each season sends a succession of bad guys at Jack Bauer with the impression of "you thought adversary #7 was tough... well wait til you see HIS/HER superior... they're twice as dangerous!--televisionwithoutpity.com compared it to a Russian Doll). Francesco Quinn's chilling portrayal scared you-- and after he was caught and killed there was a tension missing. Until the next bad guy showed up, at least.



19. Barooz-- Season four's first batch of bad guys had a two Middle Eastern parents with an unsuspecting son whose eyes bugged out with every discovery ... "mom, you killed my girlfriend Debbie!"... "mom, they were going to kill me!". He even gave the bug-eyes when asked by his girlfriend (before mom poisoned her iced tea), "Barooz, I left 17 messages on your cellphone. Why haven't you called me back?".



18. Ryan Chappelle-- even more commonplace than the multitude of bad guys is the endless list of mid-level managers in CTU or other branches. Most of these empty suits are characterized by their lack of faith in Jack Bauer's intuition as well as blatant incompetence. Ryan Chappelle took things to a new level of loathing... on a personal and professional level-he was undeniably unlikeable.



17. Edgar Stiles-- overweight lispy computer techs are often one-way tickets to cheap caricatures... but Louis Lombardi made season 4's computer guy respected (he helped reprogram 85 reactors from meltdown) and faulted ("I don't know If I can stay conthouth during my prethentathion-- I have low blood thugar") during the same episode. During his tenure it seemed as though scriptwriters were going out of their way to give Edgar "S" words in his lines. And he delivered in a manner you could only dream of. Why did he have to get poisoned in season five? Or should I say-- why did he have to get poithoned in theathon five?



16. 90210 rejects-- from the kid who took Brenda to the Prom, to the dude who Andrea had the affair with to the guy who dated Donna after beating up Ray Pruitt (partially for abusing Donna, partially for singing every time you turned around)... second tier 90210ers find second life on 24... until they're usually drugged or killed. Even when they're bad guys... (remember the journalism teacher Andrea had the crush on during senior year?) they have a three episode arc that never ends on a good note.

15. Bill Buchanan-- why did they kill the silver fox in season seven? He started as one of the many mid-level CTU supervisors... and seemingly asked everyone out to breakfast after the crisis was averted (he wound up marrying one potential breakfast date--Homeland Security Secretary Karen Hayes). But Buchanan didn't emerge as we knew him until he was fired... proving that rogues trump reliability any day of the week. His demise came all to quick. May he be taking Teri Bauer to lunch in the ever after.


14. Reza-- season two's first red herring was a groom on his wedding day. Reza worked for the Warner family and the bad guys were traced through some of their business transactions. He finally went to his office to exonerate himself only to be shot through the heart by his fiancee. Wedding days can be rough on everybody.


13. Audrey's husband-- Paul Raines (season four) suffered from the start as the guy standing in the way of Jack's romantic happiness... I mean although Jack and Audrey were meant to be together there was the technicality of her marriage. The fact he had huge ears AND called his wife "Orrdrey" didn't help either-- but despite that and the fact he was a Britcitizen and non-CTU employee, Raines appeared to have unimpeded access to the hallways of CTU with no security detail anywhere near him. Raines was shot later and died on the operating table after Jack pulled the medics away to work on an informant... thus making way for the best quote of the entire series: "earlier today Jack and Audrey were planning their life together; now he's killed her husband and will probably torture her brother."

12. Kate Warner and her terrorist sister-- you can't have a wonderful wedding without a blushing bride and her suspicious spinster sister. While Kate's main issue was the fact that she was bummed her younger sister was getting married before she was, Marie was concerned her cover as Syed Ali's money-launderer may be exposed. Solved by blowing away her financee in one episode to cover her tracks, followed by blowing away a complete stranger (in a different manner) order to secure the nuclear detonator less than an hour later. While her sister was being tortured (Kate narrowly avoided the famed deli-slicer), by the way. Did I mention Marie pulled a gun on Kate one episode later? Heaven help the mister or sister that comes between Marie and her plan!

11. Cheng Zhi-- season four saw Jack lead a CTU raid on the Chinese Consulate in LA. Big diplomatic no-no. Especially when you kill the consul. Especially when his director of security has the interrogation manner of Mr. Belding-- who wound up tracking Jack through death.

10. CTU guy who rolled on Jack-- of course, Zhi had help in the manner of CTU agent Howard Bern... whose face was caught on camera at the consulate. After being captured and questioned briefly Bern was threatened with labor camp and couldn't give fess up quickly enough. For all the torture Jack went through--he didn't say a word for two years in China-- this clown gives him up with the threat of no cable?





9. Elizabeth Nash-- season one's plot revolved around an assassination attempt on a presidential candidate. One of his staff members was unknowingly sleeping with one of the would-be killers. Nash then was to plant a homing device on Andre Drazen... and wound up stabbing him as well. Love, espionage and death--now that's an episode arc.



8. Spenser who slept with Chloe-- season five meant the glamming up of Chloe... the tech who had no social skills whatsoever. Mary Lynn Rajskub woke up after a crazy night with co-worker Spenser... leading to an awkward situation at the office. Did I add he was unknowingly working for the bad guys? Still, I was waiting for Edgar to say... "Thpenther... have you been having thethual relathionth with Chloe? Hath it been conthenthual?"





7. Moles, moles, everywhere moles-- Spenser wasn't the first or last mole at CTU/FBI/Secret Service/LA Public Library we've seen...no surprise there. For an organization that specializes in security (counter-terrorism) they have a very poor screening process...as well as a bad internal audit system. Jamey, Marianne, Sean Hillinger... one would think the CTU staff model has budgeted for turncoats. And the non-traitors? Often working on a "secret project" that gives co-workers the impression that they're in cahoots with the villains.

6. C. Thomas Howell/ Rick Schroeder/ Sean Astin/ Kevin Dillon/ the kid from Witness-- outside of recycling moles, 24 has become a rest stop for the 80's actors... and for the most part these guys remind us why they faded from the limelight in the first place. Thank goodness 24 is moving into the new decade with a 90's has-been, Freddie Prinze Jr.

5. Crazy daughter from season four-- no, not Kim Bauer. CTU Director Erin Driscoll had a schizophrenic teenage daughter Maya that committed suicide after being hospitalized Unfortunately this subplot ranged from irritating to unintentionally funny.


4. Wise administration voice nobody listens to-- from Michelle Forbes as Lynn Kresge to Peter MacNicol as Tom Lennox... there's usually just one person in the White House with sound advice to get this nation out of the current crisis. Most always this person is ignored, sabotaged, blackmailed and/or held hostage. Executive Branch efficiency at the highest level.

3. Dr. Anne Packard-- one subplot in the third season involved President Palmer's illness from being given a biological weapon by hand (thanks, Mandy)... and Palmer's physician was also his girlfriend whose ex-husband killed himself in her presence the night of Palmer's Presidential Election debate. And then poof! No more word of any of this as Season Three went south (literally and figuratively). Like a sanitation department, they buried this under a heap of other plotlines that didn't resonate. What happened?

2. Mountain Lion-- what was with that? Pointed to by many the shark-jumping moment of the series... and Kim's just reward for more than a few bad life decisions (going to a furniture store at midnight, leaving an injured child by a dumpster, dating Sean Avery in real life). Trust me, fans were rooting for the Lion.





1. Aaron Pierce-- he and Kiefer are the only actors to appear in every season, and while Jack saves the world by going over the top, breaking necks, sawing heads off with a hacksaw and shouting, Aaron Pierce subtly turns the bad guys plans awry. While Jack's shouting, Aaron's finagling a way to switch pilots on the Presidential helicopter. When Jack's shooting, Pierce is making detailed recordings he can pass to the necessary people. That's why last season I was never concerned for a minute after Olivia (#22) put Pierce on her detail-- he'd find her out sooner or later. It was only a matter of time. Plus, he wooed the President's wife--we know Marsha Logan was crazy, but still...