Redskins Rehash-- a different reality...

Whenever the Redskins play the Eagles, I enter a two week journey into an alternate reality of one of my best friends. Known by the wonderful nickname "White Shoes", the ultimate Eagles Apologist spews a ridiculous amount of half-truths and suppositions upon suppositions...: "We were the far superior team-- the only thing the Cardinals had was more touchdowns"... "who cares if we lost two of our linebackers to injury-- our backups are ten times better!"... and "I respect the Jonas Brothers". I can't wait to hear how the Eagles "virtually won" this game even though the NFL doesn't count "virtual wins" as of 2010. For those living in reality, the Redskins held off a late Eagle rally to triumph 17-12 in Donovan McNabb's return to his old stomping grounds. And the Jonas Brothers still suck.

Donovan and Distance-- Mr. McNabb completed 8 of 19 passes for 125 yards and a touchdown... directing the team to touchdowns on their first two positions and points on their first three drives. Although his second half numbers weren't impressive, #5 was able to make clutch plays with his feet. White Shoes World: "Don't you see? He went 2-for-11 with a pick in the second half! If you throw out the first three drives, they couldn't do anything against my Eagles!"

Band-aid on the Run-- while September saw the ground game spin its wheels, cut its backup and vanish after a 115 yard first half, the Skins were able to open October with a solid 60-minute effort running the ball... posting a season high 169 yards. Ryan Torain came from out of nowhere (actually the practice squad-which is basically the same) to rumble for 70 yards on 18 carries... while Clinton Portis was well on his way to his biggest output of the year (55 yards on 11 tries) before a groin injury sidelined #26. White Shoes World: "Think about it-- we knocked out your lead runningback... you had to get yards from your backup! Proving the Eagles were the better team."

Dissecting the Division-- the Skins win catapults the club to first place in the NFC East... at 2-2 their 2-0 division record beats out the New York Giants (0-0) and Philadelphia (0-1). Idle Dallas (1-2) spends a week licking its early season wins. White Shoes World: "Don't you see? We have the rest of the division right where we want them!"

What's a Haynesworth?-- the 100 million dollar man posted his biggest day of the season... notching 4 tackles and helping set his teammates up for success. As far as we know he participated in every sideline meeting and didn't hold his gamecheck at his house for more than a few days before depositing. White Shoes World: "He's going to blow up that team-- can't you see Haynesworth's not a fit for the 3-4? The Eagles should send him an NFC East Division Champ T-shirt out of gratitude!"

Third Down and Out-- although 5 for 11 isn't too good... the Skins did a much better job of moving the chains than they did last week (1 for 10 against the Rams)-- and held the Eagles to 5 of 14 on third down. White Shoes World: "third down is so overrated... there's no correlation to moving the chains or getting one's defense off the field compared to how good your team actually is. Plus, David Bowie's untalented."

Tracking the Triumvirate-- Fred Davis had a drop that would have resulted in a first down... and Devin Thomas had a 24 yard kickoff return. I guess that means once again Malcolm Kelly had the best week of the lost second round of 2008. White Shoes World: "Yet another reason why the Eagles basically won that game-- our 2008 receiver pick DeSean Jackson caught three passes and even had a two yard carry! We draft so much better than you guys."

Can't spell D without DeAngelo-- games are 60 minutes (or more) with 140 plus plays... but DeAngelo Hall can be credited with a direct hand in both Skins wins. Hall's returned fumble for a touchdown was the team's only touchdown in the victory over the Cowboys and his interception in the end zone won the game against the Eagles. It's nice to have a playmaker on defense. White Shoes World: "So basically the Redskins are 0-4 if you don't include those two plays... meanwhile the Eagles are 2-0 when Vick plays a full 60 minutes... you really can't count either loss as a loss so thus we're 4-0 and on the way to the Super Bowl! I hope the Jonas Brothers play halftime."