Will Soccer Fever Ever Kick In?

Well, the World Cup came, saw, conquered and just like that it's gone for four years. We're washing the sheets and towels it used and we're closing the door to the room it stayed in. Keep in mind, we'll still use it for storage from time to time-- but it's practical use is done: unlike members of the family who live under our sports roof like Football, Basketball and Baseball, this room is for our visiting guests like Swimming and Track & Field. It's amazing how for one month every four years soccer climbs into our sports consciousness and then disappears like Keyser Soze. Each time the extreme soccer fans say this is the tipping point... and each time they're proven differently.

I write this having played soccer as a kid. It was forced upon me (my dad played collegiately and then coached in our youth league) and I eventually grew to love the game and its nuances beyond my abilities. I even watched "Soccer Made In Germany" on public TV and was one of 7 people in the U.S. who subscribed to "The Globe Kicker" (pronounced by the announcers as "the glowb kickah"). I enjoyed its demand of speed and reorganization on the fly... the necessity for perfect execution of a perfect opportunity and its punishment for making the slightest error in judgement... its focus on team and its ability to make everybody feel as though they contributed to the greater good. In my mind's eye I can see the perfect cross coming off my foot and curving out right in front of the 18 yard mark; the header in traffic or the garbage goal off a weakside carom. It can truly be a beautiful game at all levels (even the 6-year olds who can only use their dominant foot and their massive stampede has its charm).

There are two major camps I cannot stand when it comes to soccer's discussion--the naysayers who complain how boring and how stupid soccer is ("yeah man, you can't even use your hands!") and how anyone who likes soccer has to have the IQ of a soccer score itself; and the firebrands who elevate the game as though it was invented on Mount Olympus itself and how anyone who doesn't completely love every single aspect is just not smart enough to understand its beauty. Neither side can be convinced that there could be any grain of truth in what either believes--and whatever merits their arguments may have are drowned out by both group's absolutism. Reminds me of when I was in high school and would argue with friends who thought Roger Moore was the better Bond.


Soccer is a great game and has many fantastic elements, but as constructed is not USA-TV-friendly. And there's no way FIFA will bend to American demands. But if they did have an open mind...what would make the game more entertaining to U.S. audiences?

Liberal substitution. I'm not saying let's turn this into hockey, but allow teams to substitute freely on goal kicks. It'll potentially make for a quicker game...no need to save yourself when you can take extended breaks on the sidelines... and create more offensive opportunities.

Moderately more TV timeouts. Give us quarter breaks-- there's nothing wrong with resetting midway through the half. Many times teams will be doing that at midfield anyway as they're continuously playing for 45 straight minutes. Oh, and it'll boost TV revenue which I hear is big in the states.

Stop stoppage time. Our nation is governed by the clock-- we are always wondering what time is it... and how much time is left-- I mean the beeping clock turned Kiefer Sutherland's career around! To have the ambiguous "stoppage time" at the end of every half is frustrating and lets air out of the balloon. Give us a stadium clock that governs when the half ends... and have time stopped when there's a "stretcher injury" (like when Pele was waylayed during "Victory"). Non-stretcher injured players can of course be replaced at the ensuing goal kick. It wont steal from the integrity of the game--did you know that during the NFL's dark ages time was kept by the officials on the field? It's time soccer follows suit.

Give us a name-- or at least a number. In every other pro sport when there's a penalty or a foul the official says what the infraction is and who the perpetrator is. No phantom calls like Slovenia. We're not going to be ashamed of a player if he trips someone else. We don't need to keep him in anonymity--let everyone be accountable.

Shorten the MLS Season. Did you know the Major League Soccer season begins before the NCAA Tournament and ends deep in football season? I love my country but completely recognize our lack of attention span--it's tough enough during baseball's dog days of August to be into a sport that was our national pastime... somehow we've got to stay in tune with a low-scoring sport while we crown NCAA, NHL, NBA, MLB as well as Masters, Wimbledon, British Open, French Open, both US Open and PGA Champions? Please remind me what I was talking about. Oh yes-- shorten the season to what the WNBA does: Memorial Day to Labor Day (with maybe a few weeks either way)-- get in...charm us with exciting play and intriguing races where every match is pivotal as opposed to a 20-date marathon with friendlies and sub-tournaments skimming suspense off the top.

Will this ever happen? Not likely. Unfortunately FIFA is bound by the tradition of a 19th century sport that does have wonderful merits... but doesn't have wonderful vision to maximize what makes it great.


The other question that gets bandied about every four years as the US improves and then sometimes disappoints on the World Cup Stage: will the US ever be a serious contender? I think Team USA will continue to improve... but if you look at where our best athletes are going (basketball/football/baseball) soccer's talent pool is diminished. Wouldn't it have been awesome to have had Ray Lewis as the defensive backbone against Ghana? Or Kobe Bryant crossing the ball across the goalmouth to Derek Jeter against England? I compare US soccer to Vanderbilt basketball. It's not as important and although they can develop a handful of quality players and good coaching, they're not in the same league as the Brazils/Kentuckys from a budget or student athlete pool standpoint. So while there will be excitement in future Cups... this nation is more Commodore than Wildcat. Or Connery than Moore--sorry, I still can't let that one go.