Redskins Rehash... from Hero to Hill...

I was at WTOP (103.5 FM) Sunday as the Redskins were driving downfield with under a minute to play against Tampa Bay... and as they lined up for 4th and goal I couldn't resist youtubing "Holding out to a Hero" by Bonnie Tyler for my co-workers... and when Donovan McNabb found Santana Moss in the endzone there was excitement again in Redskins Nation. But then longsnapper Nick Sundberg's snap sailed high beyond the grasp of holder Hunter Smith... and thankfully I had cued up "Yaketty Sax" aka the Benny Hill Theme. Do me a favor... next time you're online--cue up "Yaketty Sax" and think about the Redskins. You'll smile, chortle and maybe even laugh at the tragic comedy the 2010 season has become.

Donovan and Distance-- Mr. McNabb (amidst swirling rumors that he'd be operating on a short leash against the Buccaneers) threw for 228 yards and two touchdowns... and was 8 of 12 for 79 yards on the 75-yard scoring drive that almost sent the game into overtime. This despite the Buccaneers taking away the team's vertical passing game.

Uniform Update-- I'm one of the seven people who wish the Buccaneers would go back to their creamsicle orange full-time. Red and pewter look sharp, but Bucco Bruce needs a regular gig! (When he's not doubling as UVa mascot Kippy Cavalier).

Running Aground-- Ryan Torrain in his first game back from injury began with a BANG--158 yards on 18 first half carries--but ended with a second half 14 yards on six carries whimper.

Dissecting the Division-- Philadelphia and the New York Giants remain tied atop the NFC East with wins... although the Eagles own the head-to-head tiebreaker (they visit the Giants Sunday). Philly would be seeded 3rd while the Giants would get the #6 seed... while the Redskins are 11th and Dallas is 14th (both officially eliminated by losses Sunday).

Second half slump-- the Skins issues after intermission continue: the team was outscored 14-6 in the third and fourth quarters. During the elimination-inducing three game losing streak the Skins have been outscored 34-13 after halftime. The last time they outscored their opponent in the second half? October 24th against Chicago.

The South rises again--in 2007 the AFC South posted a league-best 42 wins, and the next year the NFC South notched 40 victories to pace the eight divisions. Last year the AFC South combined for a league-high 38 wins... and this fall it's the NFC South's turn to dominate. Their 30 wins are tied with the AFC East-- and that's with worst team in the league Carolina at their disposal.

Not so Special Teams-- Graham Gano missed a pair of field goals in the first half... and a mishandled snap on an extra point attempt with nine seconds left wound up being the difference. The Skins also muffed the second half kickoff-- setting up a Buccaneer field goal. Hunter Smith Punter Hunter Smith took the fall--getting released Tuesday. It was more than just the extra point play-- Smith's ranked 30th in the league in punting. Sam Paulescu returns (he averaged 50 yards over three punts against Atlanta last year filling in for an injured Smith) to Ashburn after being on the sidelines this fall.

West the worst-- as good as the NFC South is... the NFC West remains the division of depression... 21-31 composite record with two teams sharing the lead with losing records... and not one team in the division has scored more points than they've allowed. Even 4-9 Arizona still has hope...and that is not a good thing.

What's a Haynesworth?-- the 100 million dollar man's reign went the way of "Tracking the Triumvirate" when placed on suspension without pay. His 2010 tally? Sixteen tackles and 2.5 sacks. Final Redskins numbers? 53 tackles and 6.5 sacks... which prorates to 42 tackles and 5 sacks for a 16 game season-- and a lesson for the future. Because if we've learned anything, it's that the Redskins learn from their mistakes.

Redskins Rehash-- "Choosing not to run"...

My favorite scene in Footloose* is the famed "Tractor-Chicken" scene where Kevin Bacon's character takes on the town bully "Chuck Cranston"... to the tune of "Holding out for a Hero" by Bonnie Tyler. Bacon being the new kid in town has to prove himself-- and is ready to stare down the bad guy up to a point. Somewhere between the first and second verse Bacon realizes his shoelace is tangled with the gas pedal. Bacon can't brake... or jump off the tractor that's racing towards a head-on collision-- and having gone thus far he has no choice but to push forward.

The bully bails out... diving into the river as the tractor falls off the side of the road- and Bacon's on the road to winning the heart of Lori Singer, teaching Christopher Penn how to dance and getting music back into the lives of a community.

One week into Redskins training camp, coach Mike Shanahan's playing a game of tractor chicken with Albert Haynesworth. By having the defensive tackle take the "conditioning test", the new kid in town is letting everybody know who's in charge. Haynesworth had his way with the Skins last year, much like Chuck did with Ariel before Ren McCormick came to town. Friday, Haynesworth continued his transformation into a latter-day Calvin Coolidge... once again "choosing not to run".

How many practices will he miss? Will he miss any preseason games? What is the point of no return? And how come Bonnie Tyler couldn't build on the momentum of "Holding out for a Hero" and "Total Eclipse of the Heart"?

Hold the Line-- OT Jamal Brown missed practice Wednesday and was limited in Thursday's workout... and while his status doesn't get as much attention as the 100 million dollar man, Brown did not play a regular season down last year and with Mike Williams done for 2010 the leaky OL is in danger of returning front and center.

Colt, we hardly knew ye-- so much for Redskins Nation's romanticism of #5 turned #15... Colt Brennan was released earlier this week after being a preseason darling during the past two training camps. John Beck comes over in a trade from Baltimore-- making Brennan's presence unnecessary.

Hall Pass-- It's a shame it took this long for a member of the most celebrated offensive lines to finally enter Canton... but Russ Grimm takes his rightful place in Pro Football's Hall of Fame this weekend. Joe Jacoby also deserves to enter the Hall in the near future-- and I've gone on the record early and often about Ray Guy's conspicuous absence.

Elsewhere this first week of August--
Nats note-- at the trading deadline the Nationals dealt closer Matt Capps to Minnesota for catching prospect Wilson Ramos... fantastic pickup. Ramos hopefully after learning under Pudge Rodriguez will become the defensive foundation for this team. Glad they kept Adam Dunn-- his presence in the lineup is huge for Zimmerman and Willingham. Problem is, this team needs a little glove-- they continue to lead the league in errors.

College Football Corner-- Maryland media day is next Tuesday... this should be an interesting season as the Terps try to get off the mat following a 2-10 season where everything went wrong. There's a new era in Charlottesville and the same old championship expectations in Blacksburg.

Proof there is hell on earth-- Earlier this week, Michaela Salahi got into a fight with Whoopi Goldberg. Evidently there's a new show on Bravo called "Real Housewives of Washington DC" ... and the cast appeared on "The View". And the State Dinner gate crasher got into a shouting match with the Oscar-winner. I feel for everyone in the studio audience who was there against their will-- and anyone who happened to be watching the show (especially those who didn't have control of the TV remote).

*My esteemed friends disagree on the best scene in Footloose... they're divided between the "Angry Dance" scene where Bacon unwinds by running recklessly through an empty warehouse and the "Let's hear it for the Boy" segment where Christopher Penn learns to snap... spin and dance for Sarah Jessica Parker (let the record show that nobody on Sex & the City learned to dance for Carrie Bradshaw-- I'm just sayin').