Major minors... plus a Spice lineup...

The British Open tees off Thursday at Carnoustie with the opportunity for Tiger Woods to equal a feat he wants no part of. Woods finished second in the Masters and the US Open; another runnerup finish would equal Ernie Els’ dubious run in 2000 when the South African placed second in the Masters and tied for second at the US and British Open. I’ve always enjoyed following the British Open. It seems as though the elements and course layouts take lives of their own, providing plenty of problems for PGAers and giving hope to links specialists like Paul Lawrie. If one can compare links specialists to tennis’ clay court gurus, one can then paint the golf and tennis majors with a broad brush: British Open & French Open= odd conditions award non-traditional play, most of the action is over by noon and the ball takes very weird bounces. Masters & Wimbledon= tradition-rich tournaments where the past is always present, there’s plenty of sophistication and colors (green jackets & all-white outfits) are front and center. US Open and…the US Open= obviously it’s for our national championship- we want one of our guys to win, especially if it’s a veteran looking for one last shot at glory (think Jimmy Connors in ’91, Corey Pavin in ‘95). PGA Championship & Australian Open= the red-haired stepchild of the majors, primarily because in order to have a grand slam you have to have four tournaments. I’m so glad Major League Soccer’s Los Angeles Galaxy “introduced” David Beckham and his wife Victoria to the American press last week—I would have had trouble recognizing them otherwise. What a coincidence the Spice Girls are having a reunion tour! Like all other 5-member groups (from the Rolling Stones to INSYNC) this quintet resembles a basketball team comprised of superstars (think Mick and Timberlake) and role players (Ron Wood and the Joey guy): Sporty Spice=Point Guard. Sets up each vocal possession while getting everyone involved on each verse; can lead the chorus-break with incredible efficiency. Posh Spice=Shooting Guard. Scores 15 points a game and plays NO DEFENSE. Doesn’t sing and dances very little—just poses (and what’s wrong with that?). Baby Spice=Small Forward. Soft vocal touch on the perimeter of most of the SG hits, she can spot up from three all day while providing another outside option. Ginger Spice=Power Forward. Brash, makes her presence known—picks up more than her share of fouls and very tough in traffic. Scary Spice=Center. First option on every song—-scores consistently with listeners while providing defense on every instrumental break. Thank goodness the slow sports month of July is ending soon (I have breakdowns of Fleetwood Mac, the Moody Blues and Oasis already prepared for a rainy day). Redskins training camp kicks off July 27th. You’ll be pleased to know that Redskins Lunch with Larry Michael and Bram Weinstein returns, giving you a daily trip to the inner workings at Ashburn.